Reflexive Pronouns: Myself, Yourself, Themselves
Use a reflexive pronoun when the subject and object are the same person — or to add emphasis.
Word Origins & Etymology
Reflexive comes from Latin reflectere, "to bend back." A reflexive pronoun bends the action back onto the subject — the doer and the receiver are the same.
English forms them by adding -self (singular) or -selves (plural) to a pronoun: my + self, them + selves.
If the person doing the action is also receiving it, use a reflexive pronoun: "She taught herself." If the doer and receiver are different people, use a normal object pronoun: "She taught him."
⚡ Quick Answer
It can also add emphasis: "I built it myself."
Memory Trick: If the doer and the receiver are the same person, bend the action back with -self/-selves. If they are different people, use a plain object pronoun (me, him, them).
🔑 Key Takeaway
Use a reflexive only when it refers back to the subject. Do not use "myself" as a fancy "me" or "I": "Please contact me," not "contact myself." And the standard forms are himself and themselves (never "hisself" or "theirselves").
| Subject | Reflexive | Example |
|---|---|---|
| I | myself | "I taught myself." |
| you (sing.) | yourself | "Help yourself." |
| he / she / it | himself / herself / itself | "She blamed herself." |
| we | ourselves | "We enjoyed ourselves." |
| you (pl.) | yourselves | "Behave yourselves." |
| they | themselves | "They organized it themselves." |
Quick Comparison
| Use | When | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Reflexive (true) | Subject = object | "He cut himself." |
| Intensive (emphasis) | To stress who did it | "The CEO herself replied." |
| Object pronoun (not reflexive) | Doer and receiver differ | "He cut him." / "Contact me." |
The Core Use: Subject = Object
Use a reflexive pronoun when the person performing the action also receives it.
- I accidentally cut myself.
- She taught herself to code.
- They helped themselves to the snacks.
Emphasis (Intensive Use)
The same words can stress who did something. Here they are called intensive pronouns, and the sentence still makes sense without them.
- I fixed the sink myself. (no one helped)
- The manager herself apologized.
- The house itself is fine; the garden needs work.
The Big Trap: "Myself" for "Me" or "I"
Do not use a reflexive pronoun just to sound formal. It must refer back to the subject. If there is no matching subject, use me or I.
- Please send the file to me. (not "to myself")
- Sara and I attended. (not "Sara and myself")
For when to choose me vs I, see I vs me; for the wider system, see the pronoun cases guide.
"By Myself" and a Look-Alike
A useful phrase is by myself, meaning alone or unaided ("I did it by myself") — that is fine, because it still refers back to the subject. What to avoid is dropping myself in where me or I belongs ("please contact myself"). Also distinct are the reciprocal pronouns each other and one another, used when people act on each other ("they helped each other"), which differs from each person acting on themselves ("they helped themselves"). Reflexive turns the action back on the doer; reciprocal sends it between them.
Common Mistakes
Mistake #1: "myself" as a formal "me"
✗ Wrong: Please contact myself with any questions.
✓ Right: Please contact me with any questions.
Reason: There is no subject "I" for it to refer back to; use me.
Mistake #2: "myself" in a compound subject
✗ Wrong: John and myself will lead the project.
✓ Right: John and I will lead the project.
Reason: The subject takes I, not the reflexive myself.
Mistake #3: nonstandard "hisself" / "theirselves"
✗ Wrong: He blamed hisself, and they blamed theirselves.
✓ Right: He blamed himself, and they blamed themselves.
Reason: The standard forms are himself and themselves.
Mistake #4: reflexive when the people differ
✗ Wrong: I saw myself in the hallway. (meaning another person)
✓ Right: I saw him in the hallway.
Reason: Use a reflexive only when subject and object are the same person.
🎯 Test Your Knowledge
1. She taught ____ to play the guitar.
2. Please send your questions to ____.
3. Choose the standard form:
4. My colleague and ____ will present.
5. Help ____ to some cake!
See It Live: Our Engine Flags a Real Mistake
Grammarlyzer’s engine checks your text live, locally. The starter line uses myself where me belongs — correct it or paste your own sentence.
Expected correction: If you have any concerns, please reach out to me directly.
Honest limits: the engine catches many misused reflexives, but a few sentences are correct either way for emphasis. Check whether the word refers back to the subject, then run the check.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a reflexive pronoun?
Is it correct to say "please contact myself"?
Is it "myself" or "I" in "John and ___"?
Are "hisself" and "theirselves" real words?
What is the difference between reflexive and intensive pronouns?
Real-World Examples
Help yourself to coffee.
The director herself signed off on it.
She taught herself statistics.
Please email the form to me.
We painted the room ourselves.
They organized the event themselves.
Reach out to myself anytime.
He taught hisself to drive.
Why Reflexives Get Misused
Reflexive pronouns are misused mostly because "myself" sounds more formal or polite than "me," so people drop it into sentences where a plain object pronoun belongs. Nonstandard forms like "hisself" and "theirselves" come from regularizing the pattern. The fix is one question: does the word refer back to the subject of the same clause? If not, use me, I, him, or them.
Reflexive pronouns are one slice of the pronoun system. Master case with I vs me and the full picture in what is a pronoun.
Related Articles
- What Is a Pronoun? — Where reflexives fit among pronoun types
- I vs Me — The case choice reflexives are often misused to dodge
- Pronoun Cases Guide — Subject, object, and reflexive forms together
- Who vs Whom — Another pronoun-case decision
- ← View All Grammar Guides
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